The best pet jokes you have ever heard

Pet Jokes for Comic Relief

We all need a good laugh from time to time.  Animals remind us what is important and laughter is really good medicine.  I have heard it is the best.  I have compiled a list of the best pet jokes ever told. 

1.Joke-  

Guy- Walks into a Pet Salon and says "Man!, it really smells like UP DOG in here". 

Pet Stylist- What's UP DOG?

Guy- Nothing man, what's up with you?

2.Joke-

Guy- "Hey, I have a dog that does not have a nose"

Friend- Awww, that's too bad man!  How does he smell?

Guy- "terrible"

3.What is cooler than a talking dog?
A spelling bee 
  

4.Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use?  They would still have bear feet!

 5.What do you call an exploding monkey?
A baboom.

6. What is a cat's favorite color?

Purrr-ple

7.What college do skunks attend?

P.U.

8.What do cats use to make coffee?
A purrrr-colator

 

9.A cop knocked on my door and told me that my dogs were chasing people around on bikes. 

I said "wait a minute sir.  It cant be my dogs. They don't even own bikes."

10.What do you call a pig that knows karate?
A porkchop
11.What is a rabbit's favorite dance style?
Hip Hop

Hip Hop Rabbit

 12. I started a deer breeding business.  The start-up was about a thousand bucks.

13. What does an elephant say when he thinks he doesn't matter?
" I am irrelephant" 

14. What did the cat do when he lost his tail?  
He went to the retail store.

 15.I like armadillos but do not support giving them guns... I would never arm-a-dillo.

16.What's the difference between a hippo and a zippo?

One is really heavy

And one is a little lighter!

17.What is it called when a cat wins a trophy at a dog show?

CAT-HAS-TROPHY!

18.Saw an ad for a Dead Canary for Sale.  

However, it was not going cheep. 

19.What did the duck say when he bought lipstick?

"Put it on my bill."

20.What did the cat say when he spent all of his cash on tuna fish?

Aww shucks, I have lunch but boy am I paw. 

Thank you!

I will update this list of jokes continuously.  Be sure to check back and join the Meerkat gang if you haven't on your way out!  

Enjoy your day and stay safe. 

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Do you have a funny pet joke you would like to share?  What was your favorite joke?
Comment below!